Finding Our Way Home

It has been an interesting journey, this road to Christ. Each of us have that opportunity to come to the Savior of all the World, the Lord Jesus Christ and His Church, the Holy Catholic Church. The road has been long, exciting with many up and downs but God has been faithful and His desire is for you also to find your way home.

I was born in 1950 to a wonderful father and mother, Harold and Betty Bucklew. My mom was a Catholic and Dad was not. Dad later converted after much prayer including my prayers to St. Francis of Assisi as a little child being told he would help my father come to the Lord. Mom a good Catholic, still alive as of this writing, 3/24/11, struggled back and forth in her faith but now at almost 90, solid as a rock in Christ and in the Catholic Church. It is due to Mom that I was introduced to Christ and to Him in the Catholic Church. My Dad later converted to Catholicism and maybe perhaps it was due to not only my prayers to St. Francis but I am sure my Mom's relentless prayers to the Lord. Betty, my wife, also was raised as a Catholic and introduced to Christ early in her life. Both of us growing up received the sacraments and were married in the Catholic church although we were not really practicing Catholics. I had one divorce behind me and she had a relationship that ended with the death of her fiance. It appeared neither of us really took Christ seriously although we tried at different times. How wonderful the Lord is not to let you go but to faithfully embrace you even through the times of no belief. I now understand and believe that baptism as an infant really does make you a child of God but one can turn from Christ later on with perhaps not truly having Him in their heart. I now believe the Catholic Church has always had it right and that our faith is not a one time deal but a progression through love to come to the truth of Christ and His church.

So far the story sounds pretty, sweet and glorious but our road away from Christ and His church was a long one with a broad path that leads to destruction, (Matthew 7:13). Betty and I have now been married for over 30 years. The first 10 years was very trying. Our love for one another was there but still young and impressionable we did not take serious our journey with the Lord and the world had all the answers. My role was to pursue, make and keep as much money as I could and to pursue the corporate environment with a love for the tie and suit along with the recognition. One problem, alcohol. It is amazing how addiction can begin to rob your life with the things of this world absent of the Lord. Drinking never gets better it only grows worse. During that 10 years casual drinking became an every day thing. Betty, too had her share of the booze (probably just trying to cope with me), and life soon became out of control. We drifted from one another as my job took the priority and Betty found herself alone most of the time but at least she had Dave our little boy. Life was spiraling out of control for me but God was getting ready to shake my world and bring me to my knees. Even though during that 10 year time period I had times of clarity and coming back to the Lord (going back to the Catholic Church and becoming involved), I continued to drift and take Betty with me. Soon God was no where in the picture. In fact I had come to the point of no belief at all. I believed the bible, church at large was all a ferry tale made up by man. When one loses hope in the reality of God, he looses everything. This of course was not God's fault but sin and a love for the world, love for self and the blinders this world caused through Satan's lies.

In January of 1990 as I was turning down the thermostat in our home, I heard a voice. This voice came from the inside of my being and simply said, "I am leaving you now." The voice, was the voice of God. I knew it was and everything in me became like mush. I cried like I had never cried before as I wept laying on the carpet of our house. It was as if love was going to leave me forever and I would never know it again. Although my heart was cold I still knew what love was. I later found out in 1st John 4:8 that God is love. That night in a brief span of time I felt the greatest loneliness one could experience as the one who had always loved me was now going to leave me. Why? I knew why and God certainly did. I had forsaken Him and was not willing to come back. However in God's wonderful grace he was extending his hand to me to get my attention one more time. My decision would be life or death, blessing or curses, (Deuteronomy 30:19), and God even in this was saying chose life that both you and your descendants may life. I CHOSE LIFE!

As I lay on the floor crying, I looked up and saw a bible among all the books in our library that was in front of me and a profound call that if I picked that bible up, God would not leave me but forgive me. It was a bible my brother had given me years before. I got up off the floor, picked the bible up, went to where Betty was lying in the bed made some kind of disoriented statement to her that in summary indicated things were going to change, went and sat on the couch in the living room and a new birth occured in me that would forever change my life and hers. That night I fell in love with Jesus! I saw Jesus as real, alive and His Holy Spirit was taking me down the road of salvation. I realized the depth of my sinfulness and the great sacrifice Christ made for fools like me. I saw, as I read the gospels, I saw Christ love in trying to explain who He was, where He was from and what He had come to do. Nobody understood! With all the miracles and evidence, nobody understood or really cared. Even his own apostles didn't seem to understand and had their agenda over His. I wept because I too was that fool. That night I did understand. That night I fell in love with this one who had come from heaven for me and the whole world, Jesus Christ, the lover of our souls. God gave me Him that night. He had already given Christ to me as an infant but that night His love was real and my love came as that love formed my faith in Him. That same love would continue to form my faith as it is now through my return love for Him. All things became new (2nd Corinthians 5:17)!

Shortly thereafter Betty would also come to the fullness of who Christ is. Everything changed. I became somewhat radical for Christ, (I am sure Betty and our sons would agree), because I had a new love that would supersede anything else of this world. I also felt love like I had never experienced. It has been over 21 years and that love has grown more each day. From the moment of that experience with God, I never drank alcohol again. Cursing ceased immediately and I had a life of one cuss word after another prior to this encounter with Christ. Other vile sins ceased immediately. Love took control. His love.

Shortly thereafter I felt a real calling to preach. This continued as I joined a small church, became very involved in evangelism and ministering to the sick and elderly. This would lead me to an open door to preach in retirement homes and to a small church in a retirement home for the last 21 years. Ministry would take me to Star of Hope where I began to serve the homeless and became engaged in programs to help men conquer their addiction issues (remember I was an alcoholic) and still serve to this day.

I would continue my education becoming a Certified Christian Counselor and obtain a Doctorate in Theology from a Baptist Seminary. The road of Protestantism was fast and furious and it seemed they really loved the Lord. I became ordained in 1994 continuing to serve the Lord in different capacities as God would bring ministry.

Despite our wonderful walk with the Lord that Betty and I enjoyed in our marriage I still longed for something more. She did too. It was a spiritual longing for the physical church on earth. This longing could not be filled in Protestantism. The protestant churches are broken and in the world today there are over 30,000 different denominations. I wondered in my mind, "could the Catholic Church I had come out of be the one true church on earth as the physical body of Christ?" Surely not. I had been in that church at one time and I didn't find Christ through it in the way I thought I should have, or did I?

On January 30, 2011 Betty and I were on our way to run a marathon in Houston (Betty does the volunteering and I do the running). I knew there were two church services taking place that morning in the George R. Brown Convention Center. One Catholic and the other Protestant. That morning I felt compelled to attend the Catholic Mass. No, it was more then that. I felt driven to attend the Catholic Mass. I showed up that morning and as I walked into the Mass (a little late), an overwhelming love filled my heart. It was similar to love that filled my heart as I came to Christ in my home. As I looked around, I knew this was indeed God's body of people. His presence was overwhelming and joy entered my soul. Was this indeed the missing ingredient to my walk with the Lord? Was this the home I was looking for on earth for the physical church of Christ?

That began a journey for me over several weeks to research the Catholic church as I had never done before. I decided in order to look fairly at the church and alleiviate any preconceived notions I would stand on the side of trying to produce evidence that would stand against the critics, including myself. Over those weeks, every answer to every question regarding the beliefs of the Catholic Church were answered. I found each day that the Catholic Church had been right all along. I also examined those that I knew of the Catholic Church who either had returned or had never left and their walks with the Lord. I found that the witness of these individuals and the light of truth that resulted in my research that indeed the Roman Catholic Church is the one, true, holy, apostolic church on earth. It was under my nose the whole time, just as Christ was.

Betty and I have now come home. We are at home in Christ and we are at home in His church. The feeling of love and warmth in Christ is now in the body that we find ourselves in as His true body on earth. This does not discount those still outside the Catholic Church who are true Christians. It does say to them however God still wishes to lead them by His Holy Spirit to His true physical body of believers assembled under one head, Christ, whose head on earth is the apostolic successor to Peter, the Pope. May Christ lead them to His true physical church on earth that for over 2000 years remains the salt of the earth and the light of the world a city, (yes the Vatican is actually a city), on a hill that cannot be hidden for all to see, (Matthew 5:13-14). What a wonderful journey it has been. May Christ love for you lead you to the love of His life, His bride.